I don't understand
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: transformation
Topic: what's Next

hey everybody

this week of  aug 22nd - 29th has been rough break-ups , tears . death and car accident and vocal rest..all in one eeek. So what is heaven making me sit down and shut up for....Mygirlfriend and I broke up because I have major anger issue,,and I broke the trust by being so mean verbally.....i remember thinking that she wasn't for me ...and now she's gone I crave her and miss every moment I'm without her..But I  must remember what the Lord wants  for me ..i asked for a career and to touch people with my gift all over the world...I didn't ask for  a relationship....So in my prayeres daily I must be specific and keep to the course...and remember and this too shall pass....she says she done and there is no future for us ...Well Lord if there is not a future for us ...i know one day there'll be a future for me....with a career and a many other blessings

thanks The Lord

Mekole

Hey everybody
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: I'm hungry to Work

It's a new day.......and changes are always being made......I don't forget to write ...but when the spirit is led I write.....I'm hungry to work and work more...make more money ..get more commercials ....get more theatre work...etc...I want to work to work smarter and not harder...but I want to work.....so in the entertainment  industry "everyone wants to be a star.....I just want to work and be employed and stay employed in the theatre, in music , and in TV and commercials........If anyone who reads this is in a lull...or in a funk or wanting bigger and better..light a candle with me and let's all believe together that a change is getting ready to happen for the better ......and in that change for the better ..let's make a commitment to do something great to bless something else or be a blessing to some else.....

let come together and make a personal and global change......

Another One Bites The Dust
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Mekole wells in Menopause the Musical

Hey eveyrone

Itt's been so long since I have written to you or me, first of all Please Forgive Me...for my absence. There is now excuse even though "Thank god" I a still doing my show and am working.. working, working....But I am going through a major trnsformation....Eveyrday in my life as an actress is "an audition" but I have a major audition coming up and it does scare me .."am I good enough" ..can I do it..even though in this business..you have to an air"of confidence" I still have so many insecurities.....then during this time I am at a plateau in my weight, My ex-girlfrined, whom I adore, is now seeing someone else with more beauty , more money, and more status. And I don't care how people "blow smoke up your ass" and say that doesn't phase them ....Reality: it does.....Money talks Bullshit walks....so it hurts.....So all this stuff...which really isn't anything it still hurts my spirit.....but then I think of how far I've come in a year and where I am going ...how the Lord is so good to me.....even when i am not worthy and am not the "soldier" of Christ I should be ...he still loves and brings me up and out the miry clay.. further and further....Last year I was Bankrupt ...tore up....60lbs heavier....just started the play"Menopause the Musical....and since then I have performed in 7 different cities.....I have a house in N.c. and am paying a high ass rent in Chicago ....I am clothe, fed and truly Blessed and saved by Grace.......so what I guess "Another relationship Bit thee Dust...but as SMsCelie said in the "Color Purple " I am still here"

 

So good Luck to the Ex and Bless the future of new and bigger and better things...Maybe  No I should look for the bigger and the better like my Ex has and maybe...I have the person with the big bucks and the Prestige....better Yet let me just look inside me and work harder and I will be the success I need to be for me ....I , You  We don't need to find success in another person or look at what someone else has got.....Let "Mekole " just Look at ..take care of and work on Mekole Wells. and let's just work and take the time to work on ourselves ..to make a better world and place............

C u later

Meek Meek

dont get this twisted
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: music
Hey Everyone
thank you for your support and emailing me ...I'm working on my new CD ...and I just wrote this song ..called the last lil pimp.....it's jill scott meets jazz and floetry .....i will post the lyrics soon

lyrics..are like this ....last lil pimp thinks they are the alpha and omega ..beginng to the end ....the pimp loves himself and puts all others aside....

it's a fun lyric ..look out soon for more snips of my sophomre CD Stories in the Life


....Remember Never down anyone else ..when you haven't jumped into the sea of Faith yourself...



peace from Mekole

A new day of truth
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: my mental state
Hey Everybody
today has been aday of reckoning and i feel great......No 1 I made amends with my ex lovers and ex wife....(no names mentioned) and I 've hasd many ex -lovers so take your pick...See she told me I was crazy and I nee dto take my meds......to let folks know I do take meds everyday...to keep me half way on the path...see my problem is having the last word and not letting go when the signs are very apparent...then i get mad and say very mean things( which I don't mean ..but it upsets people) see to me words are just words ..but actions are extremely painful...Really i don't mean the mean things I say i not a fighter so I fight with words and even my close friends know that about me....my insecurity is that I am not a fighter of the physica....i deal with pain everyday of my stabbing, of the industry and of my past realtions what peole don't understand that when you are hurt once you tend to fight back not to be hurt again...the fear is of being hurt again....see people that have led the "white bread or "black buppie" life with plenty of everything wouldn't understand that .....they sometimes look down on me and make excuses for what they haven't done....see when I look at the problems of others i see my own issues....and yes i have many....I'm not afraid to tell anyone of my problems or fears...I'll tell the world because "the truth will set me free' from my demons myself and sll things....thanks you to those who say I am crazy because through the craziness I will one day find sanity...and peace in love


mekole

C u Soon

What is going On
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: Welcome to the 2006 Mekole
Topic: A New Me...a New time
Hey Everybody

Well I haven't written in 3 months.....I been changing everday....since my last note..I have moved from Charlotte, NC , I am with a new cast in Menopause the Musical, I am a homeowner and Apartment owner....Changes, changes ,
changes....But through the changes I found out a lot of something about Me!! I am a horder of the past...instead of letting the past go and moving forward ...The past had to let go of me...Now the signs of "it's over Now" were there but I didn't want to see them...remember the lover I talked about the was calling the ex wife all the time and couldn't break ties...well I always said I was done with 'the drama" ..well I found out Mekole was digging the Drama and wouldn't Let it go....but guess what se went back to the ex and has another lover...i was Pissed Off ...butr I can't be mad at her ...she let me know that she would never stop talking to her ex-wife and the pros were better than the cons in their relationship...I was a fool cause the signs were there...I lied to myself ..about how I felt...I lied to you all saying No More Drama....I lied to my heart...and In the lies I ended up hurting myself ...Moral to the story...The truth hurts ...But a lying to self is a soul sacrifice of
sacrificing your soul to pretend and keep your heads in the clouds...not looking at the truth of what's really Not There....I had to face myself and it humbled me ...It gave me a broken ..contrite spirit..
It 's making me see all my flaws and insecurities with Mekole...Why I'm insecure ...well that's the next Blog...welcome to 2006 Mekole

Take the daily Mirror test with Me and et's grow together...

C you tommorow ..Not in 3 months....

tithe , trust in God and Watch life change

a change has come over me
Mood:  incredulous
Hey everybody
It's been too long since my last entry....I was finishing up my run of Menopause :The Musical..doing several shows on my own etc.
I am going thru a change ...the no more BS stage.
I am really searching , praying, and finding me daily.

A drastic change has come over my life...I am seeing that North Carolina was important at one stage in my life...but now I am moving to a new stage.....at 1st when the show closed....there was no constant income...them my lover kept a constant line of communication with their ex-lover...going by picking up items for them ,calling them daily...I really got sick of that...then my ex- calling me with the daily ounce of whoa -is -m....i took a mirror looked at myself and said No Thank You... And I made a drastic change ..for me.
I decided to cut out "Drama"
I told my lover if she wants to call her ex- lover all the time and be the food deliver....that she needs to look at her priorities or the realities of she and her ex.....then I told my ex that all ties will be cut between us phone calling etc...because I need NO MORE Drama...Then I started making a list of choices for me ...

What i wanted and didn't'nt want...where I wanted to be where I didn't want to be.

Then I fasted , prayed and depended on the Lord
And believe it My change is coming...
See you soon
Mekole

The Rebirth of Mekole
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: everyday
Hey Everyone It's a quick one today. For the past 3 days I have been crying, kicking . praying and changing just like a baby being orn. My father above is birthign me so as the mother delivering..and the child being delivered ...but after the pain..and screaming..comes the beauty of your birth..and you forget the pain of your past and relish in the beauty of the present and the future.. I am changin growing living and finding new angles of me and my art everyday..Please free yourself and find the rebirth of YOU!
C U Later

Makin It Though Change
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Here we go!!!
Topic: Puttin Christ first
Hello Everyone It has been too long since my last entry ...But that will change as of Today! You see as we (people are in relationships whether it is work-related, Lovers, friends or family. At times we put them first and forget our own personal ministries..that we have been blessed and given to do and pursue. At times I get so caught up in the B.S. of life the hurts, wrongs,and things I feel others have done to me...When really I'm doing it to myself...because I am either wasting energy on being mad about it ..or I am wasting energy fussing and fighting about it. When in truth I should cherish the energy and not waste it on anger but channel it on my daily gift of living. And see how I can encourage , inspire , or just be a true friend to someone that day. That's how I can and will make it through the changes of life . Now I won't say i won't get mad..but in the instant thought of anger I will laugh and be free and learn to cherish the moment and see how I can grow from it and become stronger through it. C U tomorrow.

The Busy Bee's
Mood:  energetic
Topic: Do it Thru Faith
Today is a lovely day...the windows of heaven have been opening for me and the sun is shing thru but I must always remember ..that with sunshine..there are thunderstorms, gloomy days and windy days. But the one thing I know that all is well. I must be encouraged to know that as a Christ's child ..there will be highs and lows but in the end will be my true victory. My play Menopause: the Musical, Outmusic Award Nomination, My music's going to be featured on film etc. etc. (Can't let all the cats how the bag ..cause we know the enemy is busy at all times).
But with the blessings ..come jealousies of others ,pain, etc..but I must remember that "they talked about Jesus" so I to will be in the line of fire. And as people gossip,try to crucify etc...all they're doing is building up My character to be stronger and more prosperous ..so bless you to my enemies and thank you for building a strength in me the noone can shake nor take.
Bless you my readers,listeners, and enemies and stay encouraged..